my lack of parenting awesomeness

   Motherhood is a daily struggle for me. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I love them so very much that it hurts. That's the problem. It hurts when they act in a way that I know isn't best for them. It hurts to realize that they are sinners. It really hurts to lose patience with one of them and see how grossly broken I am. I am constantly second guessing myself. "Am I the best mom I can be", "Am I too strict", "Do I show them enough love", "Are they going to hate me forever"? You get the idea.
 This morning I was in the car driving home from the grocery store and was pouring out all of my current trials to God. It hit me that God never second guesses himself. He knows that He is in control. His way is always best. And I can find comfort in the fact that He is always looking out for me. Just as I want the best for my kids and want to do great things for them, He does the same thing for me.
  My parenting is not perfect. It never will be. BUT I have the perfect example of what parenting should look like. God loves, He punishes out of love, and He gives good gifts.

That was my little piece of awesome for the week...

Well that and the fact that 4 years ago I became a mom. That's pretty sweet, too.
 

undead

     Yes, I am alive and have returned to the world of spellcheck and uploaded photos. I will not be posting much for a while due to the fact that there is currently a one week old sleeping on my chest, and I sort of like to play with him (he tends to eat a lot too).

  Meet Theodore. He was born on January 3rd and was the first baby boy born in our county in 2012. I am not one for birth stories, so you won't be seeing one here. That's all you're getting for now. I am one busy mama with 3 little boys all to herself. So, here is to getting a minute to myself once in a while to type and look at pretty things on Pinterest.

Currently

-My almost 4 year old is having a football game with his toy dinos. His imagination is incredible.

-My 20 month old will bring me books to "read", only to have him flop through the pages and say "NO!" when I actually try to read the words.

-I have spent at least 5 hours each of the past 3 days cleaning. I sure hope that this is a nesting thing.... otherwise I just became OCD.

-It has taken me 26 years to realize that it definitely shows when you buy the cheap nail polish and makeup. The good stuff is worth it. 

-Next year we are getting a three foot Christmas tree and putting it on our tv stand. I am so sick of picking  ornaments.

-Leaving the house is completely overrated. The boys have learned to play by themselves for hours at a time, and if we stay here all afternoon I am 4 times more likely to get a nap in.

-The last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy SUCK. that is all.

24 days of thanks

     I feel like this is the perfect time to get my bum in gear and start posting more (you know, right before the holidays and with me being 7 months pregnant and all.... timing was never my strong suit). So, I will start with a litte picture and something that I am thankful for everyday until Thanksgiving.

     Today, I am thankful for the three guys who make this life so amazing. Stephen took the day off yesterday to spend with us and actually suggested that I take some time to work on a baby gift that needs to be done in the next few weeks (more on that later). He watched the boys and I got some real time to focus. Harry eventually came over and wanted to help, so I had to get inventive and figure out what he could do that didn't involve scissors or the sewing machine. We figured it out.

we went to the pumpkin patch...

                                                                       And had a great time.

sick boy

This poor guy woke up feeling pretty terrible at around 1:30 am. He didn't get much sleep at all. I didn't get much sleep either. Today we are having a chilled out day with tv and chocolate milk.

a little trip

     Last week we took a little vacation. It was the first time we have really gone anywhere with just our family of four, and it was lovely. We visited Charleston, SC for a couple of days and went on to visit my family in Raleigh/Durham. We aren't quite brave enough to take our little ones on a full week's vacation alone. The three days we had were just enough for everyone. We did manage to do everything that we had wanted to: the aquarium, beach, downtown Charleston, a brewery, and even managed to go to the children's museum in Durham.
     I was glad to get away and very glad to see my family, but it's nice being back at home now. I have even managed to get some things done these past two days.

lately

Here are some things (big and small) that I have noticed lately:

1. West's feet are so ridiculously fat that I will soon have to buy him a pair of Crocs due to the fact that all of the cute shoes that I bought don't even come close to fitting his little sausage toes.

2. If I read one more dinosaur book, I. WILL. SCREAM.

3. Library movies are more often scratched and unwatchable than not.

4. Ice cream can fix most things. Not everything, but most.

5. I am ready to find a house. I almost don't care what or where it is. I am losing any desire to be picky.

6. My dog smells like sweat. I didn't think dogs could sweat. She is an anomaly.

7. Red hair on little kids attracts sooooo much unwanted attention. Someone actually told me that in 50 years red-heads will be extinct. I wanted to punch him.

8. There are currently 6 puzzles spread across my living room. I don't care. The kids can pick them up... or Steve can make them clean them up when he gets home. My battles have all been fought today.

9. Harry is potty trained... kinda. He refuses to go anywhere but his training potty. This makes traveling such a terrible thing.

once upon a time

It feels like I haven't been able to catch my breath the entire 16 weeks of this pregnancy. I have only been over the awfulness that is morning sickness for a couple of weeks and we have already jumped right into full-blown house hunting and Westley has decided that sleeping through the night is not for him. Both of which are completely exhausting on their own.

I did manage, however, to find a camera and take some pictures of some things we did as a family this past weekend. The mister took Friday off and we spent the day lounging and loving on our kiddos. Harry started his morning by reading a few books to some of his closest friends - his dinnos. Of course, no summer day off would be complete without frozen yogurt!

Saturday was similar, but we ended the night with a few hours at a hanging out at a local brewery where kids and adults are welcomed to sit outside, listen to the music and buy a hot dog or two from a local vendor. The bartender was even thoughtful enough to provide a sprinkler for the little ones. We will definitely go back again before the summer ends.

happy mother's day to me

(apparently blogger decided to delete this post, so i am rewriting it)

My mother's day was amazing. I would even go so far as to say it was the best yet. Stephen went above and beyond what I imagined.

The day started with the boys waking me up with some hugs and kisses. I got homemade cards, a mug from my favorite bookstore in downtown Asheville and a new pair of Toms (yay!)

After presents were opened, we had pancakes for breakfast and lounged around for a bit.

We went to church, had lunch in Asheville and walked around for a few hours while both boys napped in the stroller. (I don't know what I would do without my double stroller!)

After coming back home, Stephen told me that he had one more surprise for me. Apparently he had been waiting for it to come in his email all morning.

   A couple of weeks ago, I had gone out to dinner with a friend. While I was out of the house, Stephen had his friend come take picture of the boys. I had no idea! The email containing the link to the pictures had finally come and I could see the pictures that were taken.

Amazing. Lauren Rosenau made magic. She made my two silly children look absolutely precious.

I hope that your mother's day was as amazing as mine.

sharing is caring

With the fact that we will soon be a family of 5 quickly becoming a reality to both the Mister and I, the time has come to figure out a new sleeping arrangement for the two little men. They currently have separate bedrooms. This has been a necessity due to the fact that neither have been what you might call "good sleepers". On the contrary, my kids are terrible sleepers. They cry, talk, sing and do whatever they can think of to get out of bed. We are making progress, though, and think that by the time the little guy is 18 months that we will be able to swing a shared room.

This has lead to the search for share spaces that are both functional and cute. Here are a few that have caught my eye.

Yes, I know that all three of these look a bit girly... but, I am positive that with the right interpretation that they could be transformed into amazing spaces for two fancy fellas such as my own.

The biggest problem I think that I will be facing is the fact that we are not going to paint. So I will have to find a creative way to cover parts of the acid green walls.

Good thing I like a challenge.

All images via Ohdeedoh

mother's day wishlist

since mother's day is just around the corner, i thought i would share a thing or two i might fancy:

1. breakfast in bed- easy. basically free. sweet.
2. some new toms- due to my super busy schedule  laziness, I have yet to replace my shamefully, holey pairs.
3. sunny weather and an afternoon outside with the three loves in my life.

that's all. nothing big or fancy. well, maybe a hug or two and an "i love you, mom".

is it friday yet?

Source

     It has been a tough week. I keep having to stop and remind myself that these two little men are my responsibility to guide, teach and take care of for the time being. This is hard due to the fact that my oldest little boy told me that he would rather live in the woods "with the animals" than live with me. ouch.

Where do they come up with things like that? How is it automatically built in to know how to hurt and hurt deeply????

    I am just really ready for the weekend and to find sometime to settle down with the Bible, my journal and a massive cup of caffeinated goodness. It's so refreshing and necessary to constantly remind myself that no matter how hard my day God is still in love with me and continues to love on me (even when it feels like no one else is). He is still watching out for me and, ultimately, I really can't get away from that. I need to get that tattooed across my forehead or something. I tend to forget it when everything builds up around me and I can't seem to get it together. (that happens a lot)

So, hopefully, in the time to come, I can focus on that and not the fact that the three year old is incapable of doing anything without touching/hitting/kicking the little brother. Yeah, it's gonna take some real focus.

Boys will be boys...

Love.