reunited

Well...
I had my break, and it was nice. But now to reintroduce you all to our lives
-We had an ultrasound the week of Thanksgiving and #4 is going to fit in just fine around here being the youngest of 4 boys. Yup... I am made to raise some little men.
- We have bought, moved into, and started making our new home our own. It's amazing what extra space and real feeling of home does for the spirit. I will take some pictures and give you a "tour" soon.
- I have 3 amazing little boys with amazing personalities. I really should start writing down what these kids say.

Surprise

Well... I thought I was too old for surprises. Incorrect.

I am currently 7 weeks pregnant with baby #4.
God really has an amazing sense of humor.
I swore I was done.

I am having a bit of a hard time in general right now.
Between mental, emotional, physical and spiritual states all being blown away by this latest development, and a having 3 little boys who still depend on me 100%, I am barely surviving.
I think it's time for a real, spoken break here. I know I have been far from consistent, but for now, I will not be here at all.

when you have too much to do already...

                                                          Why not start a new quilt?

Apparently, I just don't know when to stop.

sometimes

Sometimes I am petty.
I am jealous.
I lose my temper.
Sometimes I don't remember what it's like to feel beautiful.
Sometimes I ignore the things and people I need to focus on most.
Once in a while I am angry at my life.
It's hard to pray when I need to do it most.
Sometimes I forget to say "I love you."
I break the rules.
Sometimes I want more than I need.
I am unkind.
I am snotty.
I judge others.
Sometimes I cry when there are too many emotions going on, and I can't sort them all out.
Sometimes I get angry that I have three boys and all I prayed for is a girl.
I don't want to cook or clean up after everyone else.
I don't walk the dog.... she deserves better.
I get mad when no one pats me on the back for all I do.
Sometimes I am bitter at others for not offering to help even though I don't even ask.
I am a coward.

and still...

"But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the Lord,
Because He is good to me."

Psalm 13:5 and 6

thankful

     This was a ROUGH week. Not gonna lie, sometimes I just wanted to hide in a corner and cry. (I might have actually done it once or twice....) But, it's over. My husband (who is amazing!) took Friday off so that we could get a handle on things.
     We had a big 'ol, fatty yard sale on Saturday and got rid of SO. MUCH. JUNK! (*I mean slightly loved objects)....
     It's so nice not to trip over stuff in every room. I am also slowly but surely redoing some things around here... I might have just found my new bed on craigslist (pending pick up) It is a gorgeous, antique iron bed. Seriously, I am in love... Now I just have to find a way to get it home.{have I mentioned that once in a while I really miss my hubby's truck??? }  Can I get an "Amen"! Hallelujah!

    Stephen took the boys hiking at one of the many parks around here and made it a point to inform me that "Everyone was jealous of (his) new Keens and hiking shorts". (thank you REI sale!!!!)

     I took the opportunity to visit some local thrift shops and to go buy the kids a new toy each to thank them for giving up so much of their stuff in the yard sale. In my book, a ton of old toys that weren't even noticed anymore are totally worth one toy that is played with and will encourage their playing together. I might have actually set them up by buying one kid a Lightning McQueen and the other a Mater toy. They kind of have to play together that way... and technically, if I am being honest, selling their old toys paid for the new ones. Win/win! They must have really liked my picks, because they absolutely had to watch Cars 2 and sleep with their toys tonight. So precious.

       

Four months later....

Well, hello. No, I didn't die. I just have three boys.

Let me take this time to get you all caught up:

-we still haven't found a house

-each and every day my boys get bigger and learn or teach me something new. it's crazy.
- i get almost zero time alone with my sewing machine... that's really all i want right now.

- boy #1 is in t-ball and is possibly the cutest thing i have ever seen in my life.

- my youngest sister just got engaged. i am officially old.

-I fully intend to have a yard sale this weekend... that means that i have to go through each and every box in every nook and cranny of this house (and garage)! it is slightly possible that i have gotten in over my head here.

I promise that I will not let it go another 4 months without another update... pinky swear.

my lack of parenting awesomeness

   Motherhood is a daily struggle for me. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. I love them so very much that it hurts. That's the problem. It hurts when they act in a way that I know isn't best for them. It hurts to realize that they are sinners. It really hurts to lose patience with one of them and see how grossly broken I am. I am constantly second guessing myself. "Am I the best mom I can be", "Am I too strict", "Do I show them enough love", "Are they going to hate me forever"? You get the idea.
 This morning I was in the car driving home from the grocery store and was pouring out all of my current trials to God. It hit me that God never second guesses himself. He knows that He is in control. His way is always best. And I can find comfort in the fact that He is always looking out for me. Just as I want the best for my kids and want to do great things for them, He does the same thing for me.
  My parenting is not perfect. It never will be. BUT I have the perfect example of what parenting should look like. God loves, He punishes out of love, and He gives good gifts.

That was my little piece of awesome for the week...

Well that and the fact that 4 years ago I became a mom. That's pretty sweet, too.
 

currently

Currently:

- Sleep is but a mere memory.
-I don't think I have cooked a real meal in about a month.
- My almost two-year-old is taking a three hour nap! Praise the Lord!
- I am trying to decide what to wear for our updated family pictures that should be happening sometime next week.
- My dependency on caffeine has only grown since pregnancy has ended.
- I continue to look at houses online despite the fact that we have put a hold on house hunting for a month or two.
- We missed garbage day this week, so there are several trash bags just hanging out in the garage. Ugh. That got old fast.
- I have gone on strike from listening to toddler music and reclaimed my itunes. Grown up music is all that I am allowing in the house for the time being no matter how many times I hear "I want to hear yo gabba gabba songs!!!"

undead

     Yes, I am alive and have returned to the world of spellcheck and uploaded photos. I will not be posting much for a while due to the fact that there is currently a one week old sleeping on my chest, and I sort of like to play with him (he tends to eat a lot too).

  Meet Theodore. He was born on January 3rd and was the first baby boy born in our county in 2012. I am not one for birth stories, so you won't be seeing one here. That's all you're getting for now. I am one busy mama with 3 little boys all to herself. So, here is to getting a minute to myself once in a while to type and look at pretty things on Pinterest.