Currently

-My almost 4 year old is having a football game with his toy dinos. His imagination is incredible.

-My 20 month old will bring me books to "read", only to have him flop through the pages and say "NO!" when I actually try to read the words.

-I have spent at least 5 hours each of the past 3 days cleaning. I sure hope that this is a nesting thing.... otherwise I just became OCD.

-It has taken me 26 years to realize that it definitely shows when you buy the cheap nail polish and makeup. The good stuff is worth it. 

-Next year we are getting a three foot Christmas tree and putting it on our tv stand. I am so sick of picking  ornaments.

-Leaving the house is completely overrated. The boys have learned to play by themselves for hours at a time, and if we stay here all afternoon I am 4 times more likely to get a nap in.

-The last 3-4 weeks of pregnancy SUCK. that is all.

redo

     Before West was born, I made poor Stephen drive out in the middle of nowhere to buy this chair from craigslist. It was a great chair in theory- wide, modern, and neutral enough that I could use it in another room when he didn't need a rocker anymore. However, it was horribly uncomfortable. Also, tan microfiber is possibly the worst fabric on the face of the earth. Every fingerprint, speck of dirt, and stain was magnified by the terrible fabric.
    SO, my mom came up this weekend (because she is amazing, awesome, and loves me a lot!) and spent hours and hours helping me recover it with some fabric that I found on super clearance at my favorite fabric outlet near Asheville.

     It is now AMAZING! The fabric we used is ridiculously soft wide corduroy in velvet. Needless to say every living thing in my house loves it. Westley has actually just stood there rubbing his face against the arms a few times. I am a little sad that the pretty blue-gray color of the chair clashes terribly with the color of my bedroom. But that is where the chair will need to live while we are still in this house. Now all I need to do is find a moses basket stand for our room and I will finally be able to stop hyperventilating because our boy will actually have a place to sleep.
   

bigger belly, smaller to-do list

Hello! I feel like I am sending an email to a friend I haven't seen in a long time, like a pen pal or something. That's kinda sad. The good news is that I finally feel like I have energy again and fully plan on using it to do fun stuff.

     This week I actually spent the majority of my time (that wasn't spent changing diapers, breaking up fights, or making sure that my kids weren't starving) working on a little project for little babe #3.

     I recovered the car seat that we used for the other two boys! It was definitely looking a little sad and showing its age. I think it turned out pretty stinkin' adorable and now I am working (slowly but surely) on the stroller that works with the car seat. I was pretty bummed when I realized that my Phil and Teds double is an older model which means that I can't buy a car seat attachment for it. BUT, I figure that I will probably just wear little Bean (we haven't picked out a name yet, can you tell???) whenever I have all three by myself and put the two older boys in the double.... at least until someone rebels and refuses to sit in the stroller anymore. Then I will simply refuse to leave the house with all of them in tow. There, I win.... or lose. We are going to go with win though. I have seen those mothers at Target trying to keep three or more kids together and remember what she was there for to begin with.... no thank you. I will work my way up to places like Target. Maybe I'll start with Walmart or something. I am pretty sure that there is always at least one or two kids (someone else's, of course) yelling every time that I go in there. At least I would feel like we were blending in.

     Also, I have made an appointment to get my hair did. (yup I just said that).
This is kind of a big deal for me. I haven't had my hair professionally cut since November. NOVEMBER.
It's longer than normal, so that's a plus I guess. Now I just need to figure out what I want to do with it. I don't even know who's going to be cutting it. I just called and took the first available spot my salon had. That's what I might call desperation.... but am going to refer to it as "faith in the stylist". It doesn't really matter what it looks like I suppose, since it will probably be another 9 months before I make it back over to get a trim. I should look into some hats just in case.....

no place like home

     We have gotten really good at hanging out at home during the day. The boys have really started playing well together, I am actually getting things accomplished, dinners are actually cooked as opposed to picked up, and my to do list is more than just "survive".

     There are still so many little things that can (and often do) put a little cramp in our day- biting, potty accidents, things breaking, and toddlers telling me "no way"- that when we have a great day, it really makes everything else seem unimportant.

     We have had a couple really good days this week, and it's pretty much got me excited to actually create and accomplish more than just housework. I am currently putting together a to-do list of things to get ready before the baby comes (just 21 more weeks). I am hoping that some sewing and painting will actually find a way onto my done list... but I will take almost whatever I can get.

     I think that seeing this little one and knowing what our slightly less little family is going to look like in a short time is changing my mood, outlook, and overall emotional state. I am really getting so excited about another baby being in our home and our lives.

an announcement

It looks like there is going to be a lot of little league, dirt, bugs and blood in my future for a VERY long time....

Baby # 3 is most definitely a BOY.

Picture found here

pre-baby blues

    I don't think I have ever actually heard the term "prenatal depression". Obviously postpartum depression is a very real and very serious thing. I didn't know that people actually struggled with depression while pregnant, though. I just assumed that everyone (whether they loved pregnancy itself or not) was just going to be happy and full of joy at the very thought of the new baby growing inside.
     That is, until this pregnancy. I don't think it's the pregnancy itself - granted the ridiculous hormonal imbalance can't help things. I think that the past 9 months has been a season of intense hardships. We moved away from my family, my husband has been working hard at a job that has changed frequently, we have found some friends (but don't have the same feeling of community we once felt), and being all alone with two little children that are quite demanding doesn't help. I had a handful of close friends whom I could call if I needed to get out of the house or needed someone to talk to while our kids played. I haven't found that here. My husband thinks that it is because I haven't worked hard enough at it. His solution is to join a MOPS group. As an extreme introvert, the thought of joining almost any kind of group like that causes me to throw up in my mouth a little.
There are some young families in our church, but nothing has seemed to work out.
    I definitely assumed that we would feel more settled by now. Nope. This accumulation of "stuff" that has been constantly circling my head has left me dry. My poor kids are probably suffering the most through all of this, though. These "low points" leave me exhausted and irritable to say the least. I make an effort to get them out of the house and around other kids at least 2 times a week, but I don't think that will cut it for long.
I am not completely sure what the next step is to deal with my current state. I will talk to my midwives, make a real effort to exercise, and get out of the house to do something with the kids as much as I can.

cave dwelling

 Source

excuse my absence.

when i don't feel well, i tend to retreat into my own little world and keep everything and everyone else out. {picture the Marshwiggle (hermit) from the original bbc Silver Chair.}

fortunately at my last midwife appointment we came to the conclusion i need to try a new medication. (i have been on anti-nauseau meds for all three pregnancies due to the fact that i have been diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravidarum.) the one that i took with my two son's pregnancies doesn't seem to be doing it for me this time around, so i am currently trying a new (and ridiculously expensive.... RIDICULOUS!) medication to see if i will actually able to function. so far it seems to be working. i actually left my house this morning. that is a pretty big deal these days considering that i have been in my pajamas most days when the hubs got home. i also cooked for the first time in about a week. soo.... hopefully this will help get us back into the swing of things... or maybe i am just being super optomistic.

Dear Baby: 6 weeks

Dear baby,

    I can already tell you are going to be a trouble maker, just like your brothers. I woke up this morning to that subtle feeling of queasiness only to discover that full on nausea was soon to say hello. I don't blame you. It's not your fault. I actually find it comforting that you are making your presence known. I just want you to grow big and strong.
    Your big brother, Harry is already excited to meet you. He is pretty sure your name is going to be Hazel. Your father and I disagree. But no matter the name we end up choosing, he will love you just the same. I'm sure. West is probably the one you will have to worry about. You are taking the title of "baby" from him. I don't think he is going to let it go enthusiastically. I tell them both everyday that you are on your way. I tell them that you live in my belly now, but soon you'll be here and our family will be complete.

I can't wait to meet you, precious little bean.

-your mama

excuse me while i pretend to be a t-rex

Things have definitely started seeing a change of pace around the home front since the news of the third little amigo being on its way. I can't find much energy to do most things, so priorities have changed. I find myself spending more time focusing on the boys and just enjoying them. I don't want to spend my whole pregnancy thinking of things that need to be done OR being overwhelmed by how much life is going to change by adding another little being that needs all of my attention. I want to remember this time with just the three of us. I want to really and truly enjoy the beginning of the preschool age and the end of the baby stages. Every day seems to bring new accomplishments or discoveries. I don't want to lose those little celebrations in exhaustion.

So, here is to: leaving some dishes undone upon occasion, not fretting over piles of laundry, listening to lots of baby laughs and playing dinosaurs whenever I just so happen to be invited to join in on the fun. I am really in love with my two little misters and just know that life can only get better by adding to the brood.

an announcement

After a few weeks of feeling a bit out of sorts, I finally know the reason.
Baby number three is on the way. I would normally not share something like this so early (5 weeks), but I need some advice. I am considering using a midwife this time around, but am still unsure about all of the differences from an OB. I am asking you to give me any information or feedback from personal experiences (either way). I have done a traditional hospital birth twice and it was fine. I am still pretty pro-hospital, and will most likely deliver there whichever type of care I choose.

So, thanks in advance for you help and advice. I will hopefully be meeting with a midwife in the next few weeks to determine if I even like the woman (I probably don't want someone I am not too keen on being all up in "there").

And.... I will also be holding my breath for the next few weeks. I have a history of miscarriage and every little cramp or pain is scary. Maybe send a prayer or two my way if you think about it, too?

behind

so....
now that i actually have an end in sight, i realize how completely behind in life that i am.
sure, the nursery is done and my laundry is no longer piled sky high, but as far as everything else goes....

i have thank you notes to write, an application for graduation that should have been mailed out about a year ago, insurance papers to fill out... and the list goes on and on and on and on....

so.

dear westley,
sleep a lot when you actually do get here. my to do list is still pretty long.

ps. i love you.

ready???

i had a doctors appointment this morning and was not expecting what i was told.
apparently all of those annoying contractions aren't just making me miserable. they actually serve a purpose. i am 3 cm. I never made it to 3 cm with harry on my own... and here i am almost 38 weeks and well on my way to having another little guy.

she also said that if i don't make it there by next thursday they are going to break my water. so....
c'mon, little man. it can't be that hard to just make it one more cm on your own.

is it time yet?

The past few weeks have been a combination of scurrying around trying to get everything ready for the newest Gwaltney and sleeping like I have just run a marathon.
Harry has been a sport and is perfectly happy watching his Nick Jr. dvds that Blockbuster is all too happy to let us borrow (for a small fee, of course). He is starting to really understand how to do a lot of things on his own without me having to tell him 1000 times. Granted, he still doesn't always do everything I ask... he just knows what I am asking.

Stephen has been super helpful. He has basically spent the entire weekend taking care of Harry so that I can get rest. If I don't feel like cooking, he is happy to let us all pile into the truck and find something that might suit my fancy. I'm not sure if I am completely ready for the next big thing, but at least I know that Stephen will do everything he can to make the transition easier on me... He's amazing.

I did actually manage to get the nursery together enough to take a picture or two...

Stephen actually made the yellow shelf (he also made one exactly like it for Harry's room)....
I really like how much I can put on it. It's barrenness is just a reminder that I don't have EVERYTHING together yet... but I'm OK with that.

This week is going to be another long one. Work hours seem to have gotten a lot longer for the mister, and thus my work hours are just as long... although it just doesn't seem the same.

and deeeeeep breath

this weekend was a very long one.

saturday morning started out with stephen heading to little league evaluations and harry waking up extra early (and extra cranky).

by 10 i HAD to get out of the house. my mom and i went to raleigh to look for some fabric. i forget the name of the store, but it was a little quilting shop that had a ton of fabrics that places like joanns or hancock doesn't carry. my score of the day was a pretty yard of some gorgeous amy butler fabric that will eventually become something baby related....after the fabric store and a very interesting coffee shop (let's just say that it was the most "spiritual" coffee shop that i have ever seen), harry and i spent a few hours with aunt dusty looking for comfy sweats and hoodies. (nothing fits the same when you're pregnant).

stephen was home when we got back, and our little family of three headed over to our pastor's house to spend some time with some good friends and eat good food.

by 8 it was definitely time to head home, and while stephen and harry were spending time getting ready for bed, i sewed. i actually completed a project this weekend, too. (which is a miracle in and of itself). the pattern is from one of the books i got for my birthday (yeah the one in august). it wasn't the easiest pattern i have ever used... i am not a huge fan of using patterns from books... but it was clear enough to get the job done. and viola. the newest newborn accessory... a snuggler. i am pretty much in love with the result.

sunday has been gloriously low key. breakfast downtown, church, thrifting with aimee and an afternoon/evening of relaxation with some pretty awesome neighbors. after ending the weekend on such a high note, it would be nice to have a great week. we'll see how it pans out. stephen is going to be gone a lot this week for little league, and i try to keep myself well paced to last the entire week by myself with a rambunctious 2 year old and a very large belly. so... there it is.

maybe i will get really brave and get a vision for the pathetic excuse for a nursery that continues to remain behind closed doors at the end of the hall... or maybe i will be content to hang out in the living room for 5 straight days just trying to survive. ha. lovely....

and here is a terrible picture of my largeness at 34 weeks and 2 days.....

inspiration

so, my goal is going to be to get this baby weight off fairly quickly once little man shows up.

this goal requires quite a bit of inspiration (and motivation, stephen, hint hint)

here is my inspiration...

one, two, three

has it really been 8 months????

i have been slowly but surely getting little bits of life together in preparation for this little man's arrival. i am actually really proud of the progress. the guest room has been completely dismantled. the bed is gone, the dresser has been moved into harry's room, a very large quantity of "stuff" has made it's way to various donation centers, and i am starting to see the possibility that room holds as a room for a tiny guy instead of a room for various guests or a junk collection room.

we have also done a bit of work to make harry's room as comfy as possible for him to make life just a bit easier. we bought a new mattress and comforter set (on target.com) to complete the "big boy bed"...

(notice his sleeping buddies never leave)

i am personally in love with it.... now if only stephen would let me order the sheets and rug to match...

stephen spent last weekend making a shelf for all of his toys and random stuff, we are just waiting on a good day to prime and paint it. (hopefully this weekend, fingers crossed)

also,i have been searching for weeks for the perfect rocking chair for the nursery... to no avail. well, that's not completely true. i have found a ton that i like, but nothing that fits into the budget. can i help it that i have really good (read expensive) taste????

yesterday, the clouds opened for a second and i found this beauty on craigslist.
i emailed the woman as soon as i saw it and prayed that somehow i could get my dream rocker!ug. someone else had already asked for it.... the search continues.

and finally, we have a name:

this little guy is no longer "kid" or "belly monster"...
Westley John will be here sometime this spring. (let's hope for earlier rather than later though... or belly monster might just have to become a permanent nickname....)

good way to end the week

saturday was a very cold and wet day. stephen spent the morning working on the house, so harry and i made our escape and ran some errands. the afternoon contained a lot of football watching, napping, and tea drinking.

stephen ducked out of the house early in the evening to watch a game at a friend's house, which left harry and i to find our own entertainment. dusty came to play. this led to cookie eating and firetrucks. (with white christmas on in the background)

*sunday will thus be spent lounging, eating, napping and the like..

PS... this is the state of my largeness at 23 weeks 2 days and counting... i am going to be HUGE!

it's been a while

this has been quite a weekend.

saturday morning started out (extra early- i might add) with sniffles and sneezes coming out of my little guy. that led to coffee at starbucks due to smaller crowds and needing to get out of the house.

when we got home, both stephen and i had our hands full of various cups and the kid.

as soon as we opened the door, hank took a running start towards the road. he made a quick detour and ended up in the woods.

the next several hours were spent in the woods or waiting in the backyard to see if he showed up.

nope.

at noon stephen left for the app state game (kid in tow), and i stayed around the house just in case someone found the dog.

when stephen came back we took another ride around the neighborhood in the car calling "hank" at the top of our lungs (which might not be all that helpful anyhow... we aren't positive that he even knew his name)

we called it a night after that.

i did manage to make a quick trip to the local thrift shop... and came home with this cute thing for my little guy:

not bad for 5 bucks, eh?

i also decided i needed a change... bangs.

and this is the huge belly at 20 weeks

and here is the view from the top:

say "hello" to Hank

the mr. and i went to see some pretty awesome pups at a rescue yesterday.

it seems that i have fallen in love with this handsome fella.

we put in an application, and have our fingers crossed that he'll make his way over to our house sometime this weekend. his current name is "Stank"... that just doesn't do it for me... so, Hank is pretty much the new name.

in other news:

i am addicted to embroidery. this handy handbook has been filling my evenings with fun little projects to keep my mind and hands busy (not that i couldn't fill my time with something else, but this is actually fun for me)

also, baby names are making my head hurt. girl names are easy. i have a hundred girl names that are wonderful and just waiting for a little lass to be made useful...

boy names are tricky. i am really tempted to just throw some names in a hat, and let fate take it's course. oh well, good thing i have a tiny bit more time to let it simmer.

tonight i think that chili and tapioca pudding are on the menu. hot soup and hot pudding are just the thing to make cold, fall days seem a little bit brighter.

and it's a...

For Harry...

this cute picture was found here